What If...?

In case you haven't been up-to-date with recent pop culture, Ariana Grande just released a song last week in which she thanked her ex-boyfriends/fiancé for allowing her to find herself. She titled it, "Thank U, Next" to symbolically show her moving on from her loving her exes to loving herself, as that was the most meaningful relationship she could possibly have. Being a fan of hers, I played this song as soon as I found out about its existence, and it's been on repeat ever since. After listening to it for countless hours, it got me thinking: how difficult is moving on, really?

Maybe it's actually very simple to move on, but it's the "what-ifs" that keep us tied down. What if the friendship could've worked out? What if I didn't do this; would we still be okay? By thinking about these constant what-ifs, we force the blame upon ourselves and give ourselves false hope - a dangerous consequence.

Perhaps, it's also due to the closure that we get from certain situations. Rarely do we end any relationship with certainty. At least for me, there's definitely friends that I wish I could still be talking to today, but unfortunately, we didn't end on the best terms, so it's difficult to go back. It's from this uncertainty or lack of closure that my what-ifs stem from.
"So I walked away and left him standing there in the moonlight - watching over nothing." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jay Gatsby is stuck in a world of what-ifs. His whole life has been based on reaching for a green light and answering the question: what if Daisy and I worked out? Unfortunately, his final answer to this was not what he expected, leaving him to grasp at nothing but an empty horizon.

Rather than make this a despondent post, I would like to end with sincerity. Although I too wish I could answer all the what-ifs that wander in my head, I know that it is not fully possible. Sometimes, it's true; we just have to move on. Of course, you should let your memories shape you and teach you valuable lessons. But remember that when one door closes, another one opens (sorry about the cliché Mrs. Valentino). Leaving a door open will just leave you to end up like Gatsby - floating in a swimming pool of false hope.

Trying to channel my inner Esther Choi this week by giving you all a song recommendation! I definitely recommend this song, though; it really allows you to appreciate your past while simultaneously growing from it. Have fun listening, and let me know what you think:)

Comments

  1. Esther ChoiNovember 11, 2018 at 7:12 PM

    Dhatri, I really loved this post! I think that because we think of all of the what if's that we cannot put complete closure on situations and relationships;the endless possibilities of different interpretations leaves us overthinking and overanalyzing. This, like you said, could give false hope, which ends up hurting us more in the long run. Thank you for the advice and I'm so happy that you recommended a song! Definitely will be listening to it all this week :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

tbh!

I'm going to be honest; there's no one that I'm completely honest with 100% of the time. Now, that might sound terrible, but let's think about it. I've lied to my parents about how much money I spent at Taco Bell in a week (it's SO good), to my brother about losing his sweatshirt (oops), and to my friends about how I'm almost at their house when I'm actually fifteen minutes away. Some of these could be considered white lies, but would it have made a difference if I told the truth? We seem to advertise the truth as a divine virtue. As children, we are taught to be honest, while our parents tell us about Santa Claus. In school, we are told to never waver from the truth, while our textbooks emit information from the darker portions of American history (I didn't learn until internment camps of WW2 until 8th grade). This "hypocrisy is a human universal", making it almost socially accepted to relieve the truth in favor of "what looks best...
Read more

What's in a Name?

Image
In our day to day lives, we use names to identify not only ourselves but also everything around us. For example, my name is Dhatri, which means "mother earth" in Sanskrit. My parents chose it for that reason, as well as the fact that it matches my brother's name: Dhruv. By standards, my name is my primary identification factor, just like anyone else's is for them. However, this leads me to ask the question: how powerful is a name? "...the avenue...had always been and would always be known as Mains Avenue and not Doctor Street." - Toni Morrison Perhaps, the power doesn't only lie within the name, but also within the people who are deciding on a name. In "Song of Solomon", the black community members wanted "Mains Avenue" to be called "Doctor Street" in order to remember the first black doctor who lived on that street. It was a symbol of cultural and historical significance for them. However, the legislators were able to o...
Read more

#Relationshipgoals?

Image
Seeing as it's 2019 now, I want to start my post off with the discussion of goals. But no, not the kind that you set out to achieve each year, rather the kind I constantly see on my social media pages. As I scroll through Instagram, Pinterest, VSCO, etc. I'm bombarded with posts about how someone's boyfriend is #relationshipgoals or how two people are #friendshipgoals; the list goes on and on. Despite how "cute" these posts can be, they lead me to wonder what unrealistic expectations they can often set for people. Viewers tend to forget that people who have #lifegoals have low points as well. For example, a YouTuber named Sierra Furtado became engaged to her boyfriend, Alex Terranova, with the pictures being reposted hundreds of times with the #relationshipgoals. It was seen in some of Sierra's later videos that she wasn't wearing her engagement ring - an observation that caused people to speculate whether the couple had broken up. Truth be told, the cou...
Read more